“I don’t understand men like wolf, how could he have said all those things to me if none of it was real” Cray
 

        It had been three months since wolf used me, and I was just beginning to feel again. I had no idea what was going on, I had no clue it had all been a plot to get me killed, everything he had said, it couldn’t have all been a lie, could it have been. I guess you can’t really expect much from a man like wolf, he didn’t get the reputation he has now from not breaking hearts and being kind to people. I don’t know wich is worse, him dumping me or the fact that he is probably on top of some cheap call girl right now, I don’t know what I was thinking getting together with someone like him, mabey I thought I could help him turn his life around, mabey make amends with his past, but I failed. He wasn’t all bad of course, he did care about me somewhat atleast, otherwise I would be dead right now, though, sometimes I wish he had killed me. After wolf dropped me off in the middle of nowhere venom, with almost no money and not a freind at all, I had no choice but to go back to my parents old house. I really didn’t want to do it, but I had no other choice, I couldn’t exactly live off the land. I had known something was wrong when I got back to my house, the door was partialy open, and it looked like noone had gone inside for months. When I went inside I found the place empty, so I asked around and I found out that no one had lived there for two years, my parents had just uped and left, just dissapeared into the night. I went back anyway, and I stayed in my old room that first night, it felt almost like I was back home as a child again, I could almost imagine my parents arguing in their room as always. They used to shout at eachother a lot, it had hurt me so much, now the memories spark no emotion at all. I barely slept at all that night, I kept thinking that there was someone in the room with me, I could almost swear that I saw something move in the corner. The next morning I began making plans, I was going to clean out the house and make it livable again. My first duty of buisness had been to go into town and stop by the police station and ask about my parents. Apparently one day two years ago, the mailman noticed that their was about five days of mail piled up in front of the door, so he checked the house out and when he found noone home, there wass a planet wide search for them, but noone found anything. After I went to the police station, I went around town and re-visited a few of the people I knew from my childhood, all were surprised to see me again they had all thought I was dead, mabey I am. After the first few days of cleaning out, I could begin to definitely feell something wrong in the house, some places I could almost feel cold spots, and I began to have nightmares, in my dreams, I could see my parents in bed, the window was open and It was raining outside. I could see a shadowyu figure in the window, he had a knife, and then I always wake up in a cold sweat. I also began to feel like I wasn’t alone, the first time was on the eigth day, I was in the laundry room doing a few clothes when I felt like someone was staring at me, I looked up but noone was there. These feelings began to escalate over the following days, I would sometimes feel like there were at least ten people in the room with me, but I was alone, yet I could swear that there was someone there. I finaly had had it after ten days, I did a complete top to bottom search f the huse and found something truly horrifying. In the attic, I found an old rocking chaire, in it was a dead body, I later found out from the police that it was my mother, she had died of a knife wound, self-inflicted. I quckly remembered my dream, but that didn’t make sense, my mother was not the type to commit suicide, I knew something was wrong with the whole scene. I tried to stick it out in the house a few more days, but the feelings of being watched became to strong, the house was like a giant black hole, I had to get out, I would rather live in the strets like I did when I first left then go thru another hellish night in that house. I made up my mind and left early in the morning, I packed a suitcase and left the empty house behind me. I knew I couldn’t get a job for venom with a price out on my head, so I took the first plane to corneria. There aren’t many flights from venom to corneria, and the ones that there are are hard to get tickets for. Even though it was only my second plane flight, the flight didnt impress me like it had when I was with wolf. I have to keep myself away from that, if I let my mind wander back to the breif time we shared everything just falls apart. Sometimes I feel like running back to him and hiding in his arms and never leaving, but other times I want to put his sorry ass thru a paper shredder, I guess that’s typical for a breakup, but once again, he probably forgot about me the moment he pushed me out of the speeder. I felt frightened when I got to corneria, I almost felt as if everyone was watching me, waiting for me to say the wrong thing then they’d execute me for my venomian past, but thankfuly everyone was great to me, it didn’t take long to get a fairly high paying job in the cornerian army project development team. The difference between corneria and venom is now I work as part of a team, with a woman named mary beth. She is a light brown wolf, we get along pretty well, she is the exact same age as me, it feels so much better to work with someone, now I look forward to each day of work instead of away from it. It almost hurts to leave her at the end of the day, she is so warm and caring, I ometimes wonder if I should tell her eveything because I know she would understand. As of now, she knows about 90% of my life story, she is a good listener, she just sits and watches me while I talk, and sometimes if I get to a hard part she will hold my paw thru it. I sometimes wonder if I should ask her if she wasnts to do something after work one day, but I can’t im just to shy, besides, I don’t have the strength to, I just lay around in my room feeling sorry for myself, until about a month after I got to corneria that is. It was on the night that I first got close to mary, we had been good freinds before, but I never really had opened up to her. I was in my room alone at night, when the attack started. It strated with me thinking back to wolf, then I saw something in the corner move, it was a shadow, it almost looked like the shadow was alive watching me. I was then hit with a strong vision, it was of me, lying dead on the cold gound in a pool of my own blood, I got so frightened I ran from the room screaming in fear almost. I didn’t know where I was going, I didn’t until I got to mary’s door. without a second thought, I knocked and she answered. She had been wearing a nightgown, her hair was in a mess and she looked like she had just woken up. “whats wrong” she asked concerned as I just stood there in the doorway not saying a word. “it’s... it’s..” I stammered, I was afraid to tell her what I had just seen since I was afraid she would think me crazy, “they have found me”. “what, who” asked mary fully awake now. “the shadowmen” I said breathlessly, they have found me”. Mary pulled me inside and closed the door and sat me on th couch, she walked into the kitchen and I could hear her putting a pot of tea on the burner. I was so scared I was shaking, but I felt calmer now watching mary, she had a confidence about her that was completely comforting, her voice was soft and warm. She went to the hall closet and came back with a small yellow blanket and put it around me and sat next to me. “please, explain to me, who are the shadowmen” asked mar calmly almost like she was talking to a frightened child. “the shadowmen” I said weakly “they are almost like fallen angels, and they follow me around, and they hurt me”. “how do you know this” asked mary comfortingly. “I know” I said, “because they tell me this in my dreams, they are everywhere, I thought I had lost them when I left venom, but they followed me”. “what do thay want from you” asked mary, I could see she was having a hard time accepting that I was seeing these things but I was glad that she hadn’t called me crazy. “I don’t know” I said looking down sadly, I knew it sounded insane, but it was what I felt, when the attacks came, they just felt so real. “now listen to me” said mary, “there are no shadowmen, noone is trying to hurt you, and besides, you know id never let anyone hurt you”. I felt scared and releived at the same time, like a weight had been lifted off my chest, she hugged me and for the strangest moment, I almost felt like I was in love with her. After we finished out tea, she let me sleep on the couch, she put the blanket over me and even kissed me goodnight, and when she turned the light of and left the room, for the first time in years, I felt happy, and safe.  After that we went on business as usual, but we smiled more to eachother, and life for once seemed to be working out for me, I was so happy to have mary there with me. Then it hit me when I was falling asleep on mary’s couch a few nights later, what if I were in love with mary, what would that make me. I was frightened, could I actualy be straight, I don’t know why that frightens me so much, but I don’t want to imagine that all the pain I have gone thru has been for nothing, I just let the question hang over me like a ice cold blanket that night, I didn’t even have the resolve to try to answer it. I didn’t spend every night with mary, there were some when I spent alone in my room, but most of the time I would end up walking around the base aimlessly till morning, because the attacks had grown more and more frequent, there were fewer and fewr safety zones. One night at mary’s room, she was telling me about her new boyfreind when I actualy began to feel jelous, I wanted to be with mary, I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, but I couldn’t even face the implications myself. She had had a date that next night, with her boyfreind. I was alone, all alone, in my room, then I decided right there that I would ask mary out on a date, I didn’t care what she said, I loved mary and that was that. I could tell something was wrong the next day at work, she seemed flushed and not all herself, when I asked her that she looked up at me and smiled. “you always seem to know when im feeling bad, no man I have ever known before you has been able to understand me the way you do” she said smiling, although I could tell she was far from happy. “what’s wrong” I asked. “it’s my boyfreind, he dumped me” she said sadly, “you know I really did love him, and he just used me and forgot about me, kind of like with you and wolf”. I didn’t know what to say, I hunnged her and whispered in her ear, “that’s horrible, if... if I were with you... I wouldn never leave you”. She smiled and said thank you, and we went back to our ordiary work day buisness, I had gotten so close to asking her out, but I didn’t. That night I saw her at the bar, there was obviously something wrong, she was clearly drunk, she was babbling making no sense at all. I helped her to her feet and lead her back to her room, careful not to let anyone see her in her drunk state. Once inside, I helped her change into her night-time clothes and put her to bed, she fell asleep before she even touched the pillow. I watched her sleeping there for a good hour, then I pulled the covers open and crawled in beside her. I didn’t know what I was planning on doing, I lay against her and put my arms around her, at least neither of us would have to wake up alone, it was the happiest   night of my life, I felt complete in her arms, even if she didn’t know I was there.
     “noone understand me like cray, he almost seems to read my mind, almost like he understands everything I am going thru, I don’t have to explain yself at all, he just somehow knows” mary
 
 

 I stayed with her the whole night, and about 12:30 the next morning she woke up.
I could tell she wasn’t feeling to well from the edge of her voice and how watery her eyes were. “you.. you stayed with me” she said shocked. “of course” I said comfotingly brushing her hair. “thank you” she said breathlessly. I got up from where I was sitting and went to the kitchen and began to fix a pot of coffee, I knew that mary wouldnt be feeling very well for at least a few hours, “I called the office” I said warmly, “I told them you were sick and you wouldn’t be in today, so that gives us the whole day to do whatever”. Mary fell back into bed with a thud, “thank you, that was very kind of you”. About thre hours later, after mary had showered and had a pot and a half of coffe, she was acting like she was alive again, she was feeling a little better, so we decided to go out and have breakfast somewhere. It felt great to be so close to mary, we could go anywhere and do anything and noone looked at us funny at al, we were just part of the crow, it was my first real happiness, and for once I wsn’t scared that id lose it. I felt that mary and I would always be freinds forever, none was going to tear us apart, noone. Mary and I went to a coffe shop where we split a fruit filled pastery thing and mary had another two cups of coffe, by now she should be bouncing off the walls. She still seemed uneasy though, so I took her paw and asked her what was wrong, I could tell it had something to do with last night. “oh, it’s a long story” said mary darkly, “you probably wouldn’t want to hear it”. “try me” I said warmly. “all right” said mary, “I guess it couldn’t hurt anyone now, last night I went out with someone I had been going out with for over a year now, and I met the other woman”. “thats terrible” I said softly, “what happened”. “I dumped the pig” she said with a tight laugh. “you did” I said a little skepticaly, I could tell she was lying. “your right” she said bitterly, “he left me, he didn’t even give me the chance to leave him, that’s what hurts most”. I knew this was now or never, if was ever going to tell mary how I felt about her it would have to be here, “i... I would never do that to you,.. if I were with you” I said. She smiled shyly and we hugged, and she thanked me, I felt like a great weight had been taken off of me, I felt lighter now, almost alive, not even the shadowmen could break my happiness. After that we went to the mall, and I helped her pick out some new clothes that were on sale, and I bought a stuffed animal, it was a small otter, I missed my animals, my father burned them all when I was seven because he was afraid I was becoming to attatched to them, so many wasted years, I could have been happy all those times,  but im getting things together now, nothing matters anymore, I just want to be happy.
 
 

  When we got back to mary’s room, neither of us wanted to leave, so we just cuddled up in fron of the t.v watching whatever was on, neither of us really cared. We must hav lay there for a few hours, in that time, we ordered a pizza and just basked in the glow of eachothers company. And now here I am, waiting on her couch for her to finish getting changed, I don’t know what is going to happen, and I am both excited and scared at the same time, I hadn’t been with a woman since I was 15. She came into the room in a cotton nightgown and sat next to me, she looked really nervous to, “cray, I want to know something, have you ever been with a woman like this before” she asked me obviously nervous. “once befire” I said shyly, “when I was 15”. “what happened” she asked. “well” I began, “I had ben out of the house for about a year, and I was living off the streets, and one day in the park I lost all energy and passed out, this woman who was passing by, her name was jenny, she was a golden retreiver, she felt sad for me and took me back to her house”. “what then” asked mary”. “she bathed me and cleaned my clothes and we began to talk” I said, “we got to know eachother pretty well, she gave me a place to stay and I cleaned the house and cooked and took a part time job at a nearby florist, my days were busy, but I was happy”. “why didn’t you stay with her” asked mary. “it was against the law” I said sadly, “she was.... older than I was”. “how old” asked mary. “she was... 45” I said shamefully. “what the heck” asked mary in shock, “she was forty five, that’s statitory rape, no wonder it was illegal, you didn’t go all the way with her did you”. “yes” I said, “we lived together for a few months, you don’t hate me for this do you”. She looked away and then back at me almost if she were clearing her mind, “no, of course I don’t hate you” she said, “id never hate you”. “thank you” I said as I hugged her. For the next hour, we just held eachother on the couch, it was dark outside and it was midnight, and I could begin to feel scared again. “mary” I said softly, “I don’t think were alone”. “what do you mean” she asked concerned. “the shadwmen, there here” I said my voice tight in fear. “she looked at me in a way that showed that she thought I was just scared, but she looked comforting to, “i’ll protect you” she said, “don’t worry, I won’t let anyone hurt you”. I looked accross the room, and I saw one of them standing in the light from the window, all in black, and I closed my eyes, mary was with me,  no one would hurt me now, I dispelled the apparition and I fell asleep in mary’s protecting arms.

    “mary is my best freind, she protects me from the bad people who try to hurt me, I know that she will never abandon me, I feel safe with her” Cray

    I don’t remember dreaming that night, but when I came to I could feel something wrong, mary felt heavy, heavier than I remembered, I checked her pulse quickly and found none. I anicked, I looked her over, she was cold and blue, it was unnatural, almost like she was a few days dead, I didn’t know what to think, it had to be the shadowmen, they had killed her trying to get to me. I just held her crying, this couldn’t be happening, I loved mary, she couldn’t die on me, this wasn’t right, I kept trying to wake her up, hoping that this was all just a sick joke, then I ckecked behind her hair and I saw wrighten in scrathes “the time has come”. I felt frozen to the core, I didn’t know what to do, so I picked up the phone and called the police, they would be here soon, I fell against mary and just held her crying, trying to force the cold reality out of my mind.
 

To be cntinued......
 

what the heck is going on, why does everyone cray get close to die, and who are the mysterious shadowmen, are they really fallen angles, and what do they want with him, will the police believe his story, and where if anywere is safe from their attacks.